My Issue With The Zombie Genre...

Issue With Zombie Genre…

It’s October, which of course means scary movies!  I’ve been a fan of the horror movie genre ever since I was two and a half years old.  It all started when I had snuck into the living room after I was supposed to be in bed asleep and stood behind the couch.  My mom didn’t know I was behind the couch until she heard me saying “So dat’s Freddy Kwuga!”  I was two and a half…so let me translate: “So That’s Freddy Krugar!”  First don’t ask where a toddler would hear about Freddy Krugar; my guess is that I hear about him at day care…the facilitators were probably talking about the movie one day and I must have remembered the name “Freddy Krugar.”  Since my mom didn’t know how much of the movie I had already seen, she let me stay up and watch the rest of it.  In case you’re wondering, no I didn’t have nightmares and oddly I knew that movies were all pretend…just people running around in costumes and make up with added special effects. 

Even though I love horror movies the one genre I don’t particularly understand is the zombie genre.  First of all the dilemma is that there are two basic classes of zombies.  The first class are the zombies created by George A. Romero in The Night Of The Living Dead.  These zombies are slow moving and all though they make sounds, they do not speak.  These zombies are after the whole human.  The second class are the zombies created by Dan O’Bannon.  These zombies move more quickly and are out for brains and unlike Romero’s zombies, they speak. 

By now you’re probably wondering why I have such an issue with the Zombie genre.  It’s not the apocalyptic atmosphere these movies take on or the cannibalistic nature of zombies.  My question is: what happens when the zombies have eaten all the people…or all the people’s brains?  The key thing to note is that zombies are always after fresh brains or fresh flesh.  And the world has a finite number of people in it!  And zombies are not smart.  So the zombie has two options.  Option one is to become educated and start human farming…making humans mate so that there’s always a steady supply of fresh brains and flesh.  Option two is that they start eating each other and that in itself would make for an interesting movie right there…who would be chasing who in that case?  It would be sort of like Spy Versus Spy I suppose.  Or maybe it would be the smarter and faster zombies who pick off the weak and slow zombies first, survival of the fittest.  But then how fresh can another zombie’s flesh/brains be exactly?  And too, if the zombies somehow became educated…went to school and became “civilized” perhaps they’d just become carnivores, eating animals instead of humans.  And then perhaps the zombies and humans would live in semi-harmony.  Granted, much like anything else in our society there would be segregation and the integration.  And that raises another issue.  If the zombies became educated and stopped using humans as their main supply of food, then would a zombie and a living person be allowed to get married?  It’s something to ponder, because a zombie is already a dead person and obviously a living person can’t marry a dead person.  But then the people running for office at that time could pander to both sides…”I am pro-integrated zombie marriage.” “I am against integrated zombie marriage.”  Then there’d be a huge deal made about civil rights and whether or not it is moral/ethic for zombies and living people to get married. 

If we allow the zombies to live amongst us and somehow a war sprouts up between us and them all we’d have to do is get guns and aim for their heads.  It’d be the world’s shortest war.  Those with the better technology normally win the wars.  Zombies have been known to primarily prefer using their hands and teeth as weapons, which don’t normally stand up against firearms.  And then I have to wonder about laws…if a zombie were to be killed by someone would it count as murder or would Double Jeopardy apply in that situation.  The zombie is technically already dead.  That’s the other thing I never got.  If I shoot a zombie in the head I’ll kill it!  But a zombie is already dead; it’s a dead person.  So how can I kill something that’s already dead?  I can’t, so what’s to stop a zombie from coming back once they’ve been shot in the head.  And what would we call that?  It would be a zombie-zombie. 

I am all for a zombie prevention program.  It’s called, cremation!  So far no one in the horror film industry has brought somebody’s ashes back to life.  If there’s no body, there’s no zombie.  Problem/issues solved.   

Okay, so I tried the "Bing it on" test.  If you don't know, it's supposed to be a study orchestrated by Microsoft to prove that supposedly their search engine, "Bing" is better than "Google." 
For the test, you type something into the search box and it brings up a split screen of Google's results side by side with Bing's results.  There are 5 rounds, so you can begin with something incredibly vague and gradually become more specific. 
So, I began with something simple which I like; bohemian style skirts.
I gradually altered my search to include length, then length and a price range (<$20), then used color and finally both color and the already mentioned price range. 
Now, I personally don't like a busy/image filled page unless I type in "images..." which I did not. 
I also attempted to use the word "images" in my search, however doing so gave images of the clothing style, or multi-colored skirts. 
Generally...3 out of 5 rounds it's a draw...I didn't like the results of either search engine, or both came up with basically the same information.  Overall I prefer Google to Bing.  2 out of 5 rounds that is.  So, if there is a greater number of draws, then would that not mean that both Bing and Google have offered either the same amount of information, or that neither has offered enough information?  A draw basically means that neither search engine is better or worse than the other.  So, no I did not "prefer" Google or Bing...it's a draw. 
Unless one of the search engines can read my mind and figure out exactly what length, color/shade, design and price range I am looking for, then neither search engine is better and they both offer the same information.  Bing just adds stuff you weren't searching for...videos, images...etc.  If I'm searching for videos, I can easily type in "videos" and Google has the option of viewing videos on a sidebar.  Goggle's sidebar offers other options as well, which this test does not show; the test limits features of the competitor which may influence the outcomes. 
It is also easy to manipulate this test.  It is not a user specific test, so it doesn't know what you want in the ways of content. and results of searches vary; you may want and think you are searching the most up to date information, however it may show old/useless information...another way Microsoft is trying to stack the deck: useless info on one side, better info on the other. 
Overall, it's a useless endevor and I choose Google, have been since '04.  It's established and easier to use.  And often times Bing itself (apart from the test) will bring up information on something completely different from what you typed into the search box. 

So, I think I know what I want to do with my life...

Lately I've been thinking about what I want to do with my life. 
For a while I wanted to attend La Sorbonne and become a French instructor!  But then I had my accident and that set me back...by A LOT; financially, timewise and in spirit. 
It's not that I don't still want to be a French instructor and I will never stop hoping that I'll attend La Sorbonne someday.  But maybe I should start with something a little more reachable and maybe I'm just not ready for that yet. 
"But okay self, what do we want to do?"
"Um...right now I'd like to down a bottle of wine."
"Okay.  But after that?"
"Maybe play The Sims..."
"Okay fine.  After that?"
"Logical self don't you know by now that after I've had a bottle of wine and played The Sims for 8hrs it's time to sleep?"
"Okay.  FINE!  When you first wake up what do you want to do?  And don't say 'take a leak' or 'coffee.'"
"Um...write something."
I think I want to write.  I used to love writing and gave it up for a while due to what one arrogant ass who shall remain nameless once said.  I enjoy making a character and a place and making action.
I also like Philosophy and trying to incorporate it into writing.
No, I don't want to write the next...wait, what's the top pop culture book series of the moment?  I'll just say I'm not going to write the next Twilight or even attempt to.  I could never allow myself to write something with that many plot holes and character flaws.  Seriously, a vampire who remains in highschool forever instead of actually doing something that might benefit mankind?  Okay, bad example...let me try again.
I'm not expecting to be the next Zola...okay having everyone of my works banned by the Catholic Church would be pretty sweet...okay...bad example.  I'm not going expecting to be the next Hugo; that works...I can barely write and read one page that I'm 100% happy with, let alone 1200 pages.  Maybe not the best example...not the next Shakespeare; that works.  Well known, controversial, pop culture references the dude's work and it stands the test of time.  It would be totally awesome if I ever did write something on par with the greats or as popular as Twilight...or any other teen/tween/kids book series from the 2000's to the present.  But I'm not expecting an overnight success and if only my friends/family are the only people who read my work I'd be happy.  And it would be fun to go into Barnes and Noble and place my books on all the "best seller" or "favorites" tables in the store!  Come on, who hasn't thought of doing that?  I do it all the time...I go find my favorite books and strategically place them.  Yes, The Beast Within and Titus Andronicus are appropriate reading material for kids under 10.  Sure, L'Assomoir and Notre-Dame De Paris belong on the "religious" table.  L'Assomoir=this is what happens when you drink and spend money you don't have!  Good moral lessons to learn there.  Notre-Dame De Paris=A book about a large church and it has a priest in it.  
So I think I want to just write.

To My Fellow Atheists...Yes, the religious/spiritual can read too...

Okay, so there’s been this petition going around on Facebook.  If you haven’t seen it, it depicts two beams in the shape of a cross from the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center and is going to be on display at the 9/11 Memorial Museum…I stand corrected, a couple petitions; one is a petition to keep the cross shaped beams in the museum and the other is to remove the cross shaped beams from the museum. 

The more common petition is to keep the cross shaped beams in the museum and to stop a lawsuit.  This is the part I have difficulty understanding: Atheists don’t want to be forced to believe how religious folks believe, so why are they telling religious…in this case, Christian folks that they can’t have cross shaped beams in the museum?  To my fellow Atheists out there dudes you’re giving other non-believers a bad rap. 

Personally, I have no problem if someone views two beams in the shape of a cross as a religious symbol.  If someone at the museum takes comfort in faith and attaching such meaning to the cross shaped beams, who am I to tell them that they’re wrong?  I don’t like it when folks push their values, lifestyles, beliefs…etc. on me and I try to show those folks the same respect. 

The attacks on 9/11 were awful!  Many people going to this museum may have lost a loved one during those attacks, in which case they should be able to seek comfort in the museum. 

Some other Atheists may say that the cross is a violation between church and state, due to the fact that the cross shaped beams have been consecrated and the word “Jesus” is carved on top and a prayer was said.  I don’t view it that way and here’s why…

We Atheists do not generally attach God and religion to a couple of beams…planks…boards…anything which is put in the shape of a cross.  I know I don’t.  So to my fellow Atheists, what is the problem?  If there is no meaning in these beams and the word “Jesus” and the religious ceremonies, then why are you creating it?  Yes my fellow Atheists you ARE attaching religious/spiritual meaning to the artifact in question.  And if you as an Atheist are giving an object religious/spiritual meaning then are you really an Atheist? 

Yes, folks something can only have powers if you label them with those properties and if you, yourselves give it those powers.  If I wanted to I could walk around and say that the book The Story of French is the most powerful and moving book in the world and that if you don’t believe that, then you’re wrong…bad example…I do that all the damn time!  But I think you get my point. 

One of the reasons I am an Atheist is because I’m fairly open minded, I have friends who are religious and spiritual.  I don’t mind when they tell me about church, or want to share a Bible verse, or pray in front of me…I may not partake, but I’m not going to stop you or tell you that you’re wrong.  To me, most religions or paths to spiritual enlightenment are too exclusive and closed minded.  My alternative is to respect you and your beliefs and in turn just respect that I don’t attach the same meaning to an artifact from the WTC. 

A poem...by me...

I can’t outrun a speeding bullet, tall buildings aren’t my thing.

There’s no “S” on my chest and my red cape is being cleaned. 

I’m doing my best, but some days that don’t mean a thing. 

Phone booth down for maintenance and I’ve got to explain to Ms. Lois Lane why the world keeps crashing to the ground! (Again!)

I’m getting too used to making excuses, while the paper’s slandering my name.

My vacation’s taking too long they say. 

And they’re wondering where I went wrong.  Or maybe is it that I’ve just gone insane?

I can’t outrun a speeding bullet, leaping tall buildings isn’t my thing.

There’s no “S” on my chest and my red cape is being cleaned. 

I’m trying to do my best, but some days that don’t mean anything. 

I can’t stand around and wait, while you make up your mind.

Posing for Olsen, while he snaps a photograph I wonder how long this peace of mind will last.

I hear Atlas at the door and he’s wanting to fight for no reason at all. 

Guess it’s another skeleton in my lair.

I can’t outrun a speeding bullet, leaping tall buildings isn’t my thing.

There’s no “S” on my chest and my red cape is being cleaned. 

I’m trying to do my best, but that don’t mean a thing. 

Put on my red boots, blue tights and fly around for a while, just to wave high to the passengers in the plane.

If I’m not Superman, then who should I be?

I can’t outrun a speeding bullet, leaping tall buildings isn’t my thing.

There’s no “S” on my chest and my red cape is being cleaned. 

I’m trying to do my best, but some days that don’t mean anything. 

I can’t outrun a speeding bullet, leaping tall buildings isn’t my thing.

There’s no “S” on my chest, but that don’t bother me.

You know, I could sue your company's ass....

Went to Dunkin Donuts drive thru today and mom ordered an iced coffee w/just extra sugar.  When we got up to the window the associate at the window tried to give her the iced coffee w/cream and sugar…not what mom ordered.  The associate had a second order at the window and said “I have one with just sugar here.”  Mom asked if it had extra sugar and the associate said “yes it’s granulated sugar.”  So, mom took the coffee which supposedly had granulated sugar in it and started to sip it.  She said it didn’t taste right.  So, I tasted it and it didn’t taste like sugar to me either.  We both chalked it up to the coffee, as my coffee order too did not taste good at all.  We continued on so that I could do the weekly shopping/run errands and when I was done and back in the car mom turned the cup of iced coffee and asked me to read which bubble/box had been checked off for the stuff associates add to the coffee.  It read “Splenda.” 

For those who don’t have a problem with Splenda, or don’t see the issue here I’ll illuminate.  Mom has Lupus and Splenda, being an artificial and chemically produced sweetener can cause a major flare up.  Basically, Splenda can cause mom to become sick enough to go to the hospital.  I myself cannot have Splenda, as it causes severe headaches…I’m talking no sound, no light, my head will hurt until the sweetener is completely out of my system. 

So, seeing that it was not what mom ordered, we went back to Dunkin and neither of us wanted them to remake the coffee drink.  I showed the associate at the counter the cup marked “Splenda” and the receipt which showed that mom had ordered “sugar.”  The associate at the counter said that they could make a new one.  And then the associate at the drive thru, who happened to be the same one who took our order chimed in.  “Oh it’s actually sugar.  I just mark it like that when I’m going really fast.”  I told the associates that both my mother and I had tasted it and it did not taste like sugar.  The associate at the counter lifted up the cup and pointed to the bottom of the cup.  “See, that’s granulated sugar.”  And then handed the cup back to me.  I waited a moment for the associate to say “Sorry about the taste of the coffee, if you would like we can offer you a partial refund.”  That would have been fine, but she offered nothing.  So I had them throw out the cup of coffee. 

A couple of minutes later, back at the car mom called the manager…or rather the assistant manager, as the regular manager wasn’t in today.  The assistant manager offered the refund.  So I went back into Dunkin, waited in line and as I was getting the refund then girl who had been at the drive thru was taking care of the customer behind me…guess she was the only one on coffee duty today.  The customer had ordered an iced coffee w/cream and sugar.  The associate came over to me, waved the cup in my face and said “What goes into this?  Sugar.  Sugar right?” 

Not sure if Dunkin goes over what qualifies as harassment and what qualifies as downright lousy customer service w/their associates and speaking as one person in the service industry you NEVER mock your customers.  Mocking a customer, especially in front of others is a form of harassment.  Harassment is one way to get a law suit against your company and is BAD customer service. 

Not going to Dunkin Donuts again. 

Does this sound like ageism...?

So, tonight I auditioned for Steamtown Idol…a local singing competition at a mall in Scranton PA.  I figured I’d be judged on my voice, but it turns out that it’s all about age.  After the competition and not being one of the finalists, I went up to the judges to see what I could do better the next time around.  The female judge told me that I should have chose a happier song, that with all the pop songs it’s difficult to contend with anything else.  I told her that I really don’t do happy.  She told me that it was because of what all us “young” people listen to and I told her that I’m not THAT young, that I’m 25.  I don’t listen to bubble gum pop, I’m don’t regularly watch Disney Channel.  Basically I was being judged on my age and the type of music I enjoy/sing and not my voice.  She told me that my voice was good, but to use a happy pop song next time. 

Does that seem like ageism to anyone else?  The judge pretty much told me that the basis for their judgment had been what music I enjoy and my age.  I’m 25, so it does stand to reason that I don’t listen to the same stuff a 13yr. old listens to.  Plus I choose to sing what I’m generally good at singing.  It was a singing competition, so it stood to reason that I would choose a song I sound good at. 

Not only that, but the song I chose was a contemporary pop song!  It just wasn’t a bubblegum song…When the judge told me that I needed to sing a pop song, I told her that what I had chosen WAS a pop song.  I feel that the judge was only judging me based on my age.

If you’re going to judge based on age, have age categories!  That, or if you want everyone to sing happy bubblegum pop make it a requirement listed in the waiver, if you want only teens/tweens to participate then make that a requirement.  Don’t judge what I sing based on what a 13yr. old sings.