My Issue With The Zombie Genre...

Issue With Zombie Genre…

It’s October, which of course means scary movies!  I’ve been a fan of the horror movie genre ever since I was two and a half years old.  It all started when I had snuck into the living room after I was supposed to be in bed asleep and stood behind the couch.  My mom didn’t know I was behind the couch until she heard me saying “So dat’s Freddy Kwuga!”  I was two and a half…so let me translate: “So That’s Freddy Krugar!”  First don’t ask where a toddler would hear about Freddy Krugar; my guess is that I hear about him at day care…the facilitators were probably talking about the movie one day and I must have remembered the name “Freddy Krugar.”  Since my mom didn’t know how much of the movie I had already seen, she let me stay up and watch the rest of it.  In case you’re wondering, no I didn’t have nightmares and oddly I knew that movies were all pretend…just people running around in costumes and make up with added special effects. 

Even though I love horror movies the one genre I don’t particularly understand is the zombie genre.  First of all the dilemma is that there are two basic classes of zombies.  The first class are the zombies created by George A. Romero in The Night Of The Living Dead.  These zombies are slow moving and all though they make sounds, they do not speak.  These zombies are after the whole human.  The second class are the zombies created by Dan O’Bannon.  These zombies move more quickly and are out for brains and unlike Romero’s zombies, they speak. 

By now you’re probably wondering why I have such an issue with the Zombie genre.  It’s not the apocalyptic atmosphere these movies take on or the cannibalistic nature of zombies.  My question is: what happens when the zombies have eaten all the people…or all the people’s brains?  The key thing to note is that zombies are always after fresh brains or fresh flesh.  And the world has a finite number of people in it!  And zombies are not smart.  So the zombie has two options.  Option one is to become educated and start human farming…making humans mate so that there’s always a steady supply of fresh brains and flesh.  Option two is that they start eating each other and that in itself would make for an interesting movie right there…who would be chasing who in that case?  It would be sort of like Spy Versus Spy I suppose.  Or maybe it would be the smarter and faster zombies who pick off the weak and slow zombies first, survival of the fittest.  But then how fresh can another zombie’s flesh/brains be exactly?  And too, if the zombies somehow became educated…went to school and became “civilized” perhaps they’d just become carnivores, eating animals instead of humans.  And then perhaps the zombies and humans would live in semi-harmony.  Granted, much like anything else in our society there would be segregation and the integration.  And that raises another issue.  If the zombies became educated and stopped using humans as their main supply of food, then would a zombie and a living person be allowed to get married?  It’s something to ponder, because a zombie is already a dead person and obviously a living person can’t marry a dead person.  But then the people running for office at that time could pander to both sides…”I am pro-integrated zombie marriage.” “I am against integrated zombie marriage.”  Then there’d be a huge deal made about civil rights and whether or not it is moral/ethic for zombies and living people to get married. 

If we allow the zombies to live amongst us and somehow a war sprouts up between us and them all we’d have to do is get guns and aim for their heads.  It’d be the world’s shortest war.  Those with the better technology normally win the wars.  Zombies have been known to primarily prefer using their hands and teeth as weapons, which don’t normally stand up against firearms.  And then I have to wonder about laws…if a zombie were to be killed by someone would it count as murder or would Double Jeopardy apply in that situation.  The zombie is technically already dead.  That’s the other thing I never got.  If I shoot a zombie in the head I’ll kill it!  But a zombie is already dead; it’s a dead person.  So how can I kill something that’s already dead?  I can’t, so what’s to stop a zombie from coming back once they’ve been shot in the head.  And what would we call that?  It would be a zombie-zombie. 

I am all for a zombie prevention program.  It’s called, cremation!  So far no one in the horror film industry has brought somebody’s ashes back to life.  If there’s no body, there’s no zombie.  Problem/issues solved.   

Okay, so I tried the "Bing it on" test.  If you don't know, it's supposed to be a study orchestrated by Microsoft to prove that supposedly their search engine, "Bing" is better than "Google." 
For the test, you type something into the search box and it brings up a split screen of Google's results side by side with Bing's results.  There are 5 rounds, so you can begin with something incredibly vague and gradually become more specific. 
So, I began with something simple which I like; bohemian style skirts.
I gradually altered my search to include length, then length and a price range (<$20), then used color and finally both color and the already mentioned price range. 
Now, I personally don't like a busy/image filled page unless I type in "images..." which I did not. 
I also attempted to use the word "images" in my search, however doing so gave images of the clothing style, or multi-colored skirts. 
Generally...3 out of 5 rounds it's a draw...I didn't like the results of either search engine, or both came up with basically the same information.  Overall I prefer Google to Bing.  2 out of 5 rounds that is.  So, if there is a greater number of draws, then would that not mean that both Bing and Google have offered either the same amount of information, or that neither has offered enough information?  A draw basically means that neither search engine is better or worse than the other.  So, no I did not "prefer" Google or Bing...it's a draw. 
Unless one of the search engines can read my mind and figure out exactly what length, color/shade, design and price range I am looking for, then neither search engine is better and they both offer the same information.  Bing just adds stuff you weren't searching for...videos, images...etc.  If I'm searching for videos, I can easily type in "videos" and Google has the option of viewing videos on a sidebar.  Goggle's sidebar offers other options as well, which this test does not show; the test limits features of the competitor which may influence the outcomes. 
It is also easy to manipulate this test.  It is not a user specific test, so it doesn't know what you want in the ways of content. and results of searches vary; you may want and think you are searching the most up to date information, however it may show old/useless information...another way Microsoft is trying to stack the deck: useless info on one side, better info on the other. 
Overall, it's a useless endevor and I choose Google, have been since '04.  It's established and easier to use.  And often times Bing itself (apart from the test) will bring up information on something completely different from what you typed into the search box. 

So, I think I know what I want to do with my life...

Lately I've been thinking about what I want to do with my life. 
For a while I wanted to attend La Sorbonne and become a French instructor!  But then I had my accident and that set me back...by A LOT; financially, timewise and in spirit. 
It's not that I don't still want to be a French instructor and I will never stop hoping that I'll attend La Sorbonne someday.  But maybe I should start with something a little more reachable and maybe I'm just not ready for that yet. 
"But okay self, what do we want to do?"
"Um...right now I'd like to down a bottle of wine."
"Okay.  But after that?"
"Maybe play The Sims..."
"Okay fine.  After that?"
"Logical self don't you know by now that after I've had a bottle of wine and played The Sims for 8hrs it's time to sleep?"
"Okay.  FINE!  When you first wake up what do you want to do?  And don't say 'take a leak' or 'coffee.'"
"Um...write something."
I think I want to write.  I used to love writing and gave it up for a while due to what one arrogant ass who shall remain nameless once said.  I enjoy making a character and a place and making action.
I also like Philosophy and trying to incorporate it into writing.
No, I don't want to write the next...wait, what's the top pop culture book series of the moment?  I'll just say I'm not going to write the next Twilight or even attempt to.  I could never allow myself to write something with that many plot holes and character flaws.  Seriously, a vampire who remains in highschool forever instead of actually doing something that might benefit mankind?  Okay, bad example...let me try again.
I'm not expecting to be the next Zola...okay having everyone of my works banned by the Catholic Church would be pretty sweet...okay...bad example.  I'm not going expecting to be the next Hugo; that works...I can barely write and read one page that I'm 100% happy with, let alone 1200 pages.  Maybe not the best example...not the next Shakespeare; that works.  Well known, controversial, pop culture references the dude's work and it stands the test of time.  It would be totally awesome if I ever did write something on par with the greats or as popular as Twilight...or any other teen/tween/kids book series from the 2000's to the present.  But I'm not expecting an overnight success and if only my friends/family are the only people who read my work I'd be happy.  And it would be fun to go into Barnes and Noble and place my books on all the "best seller" or "favorites" tables in the store!  Come on, who hasn't thought of doing that?  I do it all the time...I go find my favorite books and strategically place them.  Yes, The Beast Within and Titus Andronicus are appropriate reading material for kids under 10.  Sure, L'Assomoir and Notre-Dame De Paris belong on the "religious" table.  L'Assomoir=this is what happens when you drink and spend money you don't have!  Good moral lessons to learn there.  Notre-Dame De Paris=A book about a large church and it has a priest in it.  
So I think I want to just write.

To My Fellow Atheists...Yes, the religious/spiritual can read too...

Okay, so there’s been this petition going around on Facebook.  If you haven’t seen it, it depicts two beams in the shape of a cross from the 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Center and is going to be on display at the 9/11 Memorial Museum…I stand corrected, a couple petitions; one is a petition to keep the cross shaped beams in the museum and the other is to remove the cross shaped beams from the museum. 

The more common petition is to keep the cross shaped beams in the museum and to stop a lawsuit.  This is the part I have difficulty understanding: Atheists don’t want to be forced to believe how religious folks believe, so why are they telling religious…in this case, Christian folks that they can’t have cross shaped beams in the museum?  To my fellow Atheists out there dudes you’re giving other non-believers a bad rap. 

Personally, I have no problem if someone views two beams in the shape of a cross as a religious symbol.  If someone at the museum takes comfort in faith and attaching such meaning to the cross shaped beams, who am I to tell them that they’re wrong?  I don’t like it when folks push their values, lifestyles, beliefs…etc. on me and I try to show those folks the same respect. 

The attacks on 9/11 were awful!  Many people going to this museum may have lost a loved one during those attacks, in which case they should be able to seek comfort in the museum. 

Some other Atheists may say that the cross is a violation between church and state, due to the fact that the cross shaped beams have been consecrated and the word “Jesus” is carved on top and a prayer was said.  I don’t view it that way and here’s why…

We Atheists do not generally attach God and religion to a couple of beams…planks…boards…anything which is put in the shape of a cross.  I know I don’t.  So to my fellow Atheists, what is the problem?  If there is no meaning in these beams and the word “Jesus” and the religious ceremonies, then why are you creating it?  Yes my fellow Atheists you ARE attaching religious/spiritual meaning to the artifact in question.  And if you as an Atheist are giving an object religious/spiritual meaning then are you really an Atheist? 

Yes, folks something can only have powers if you label them with those properties and if you, yourselves give it those powers.  If I wanted to I could walk around and say that the book The Story of French is the most powerful and moving book in the world and that if you don’t believe that, then you’re wrong…bad example…I do that all the damn time!  But I think you get my point. 

One of the reasons I am an Atheist is because I’m fairly open minded, I have friends who are religious and spiritual.  I don’t mind when they tell me about church, or want to share a Bible verse, or pray in front of me…I may not partake, but I’m not going to stop you or tell you that you’re wrong.  To me, most religions or paths to spiritual enlightenment are too exclusive and closed minded.  My alternative is to respect you and your beliefs and in turn just respect that I don’t attach the same meaning to an artifact from the WTC. 

A poem...by me...

I can’t outrun a speeding bullet, tall buildings aren’t my thing.

There’s no “S” on my chest and my red cape is being cleaned. 

I’m doing my best, but some days that don’t mean a thing. 

Phone booth down for maintenance and I’ve got to explain to Ms. Lois Lane why the world keeps crashing to the ground! (Again!)

I’m getting too used to making excuses, while the paper’s slandering my name.

My vacation’s taking too long they say. 

And they’re wondering where I went wrong.  Or maybe is it that I’ve just gone insane?

I can’t outrun a speeding bullet, leaping tall buildings isn’t my thing.

There’s no “S” on my chest and my red cape is being cleaned. 

I’m trying to do my best, but some days that don’t mean anything. 

I can’t stand around and wait, while you make up your mind.

Posing for Olsen, while he snaps a photograph I wonder how long this peace of mind will last.

I hear Atlas at the door and he’s wanting to fight for no reason at all. 

Guess it’s another skeleton in my lair.

I can’t outrun a speeding bullet, leaping tall buildings isn’t my thing.

There’s no “S” on my chest and my red cape is being cleaned. 

I’m trying to do my best, but that don’t mean a thing. 

Put on my red boots, blue tights and fly around for a while, just to wave high to the passengers in the plane.

If I’m not Superman, then who should I be?

I can’t outrun a speeding bullet, leaping tall buildings isn’t my thing.

There’s no “S” on my chest and my red cape is being cleaned. 

I’m trying to do my best, but some days that don’t mean anything. 

I can’t outrun a speeding bullet, leaping tall buildings isn’t my thing.

There’s no “S” on my chest, but that don’t bother me.